9th May 2020
Training is an absolute roller-coaster at the best of times.
You will come off one of the best snatch sessions in your life, feeling like you’re ready to take on Matt Fraser at the 2021 CrossFit Games, and then other days, it feels like you’re experiencing a barbell for the first time.
You’re catching on your toes, wobbling like you’ve had a few too many, the barbell jams your balls on the way up, and all the testosterone fuelled rage in the world doesn’t do anything to make that lift feel any easier, but rather, makes you look like a huge wanker.
I had one of those loud and ugly moments the other day – (I even have the bruises to prove it).
“I should be able to lift this… How come they can do this so much better than I can… Why isn’t anything working?!”
These thoughts simmered until I locked out an ugly jerk and imploded.
My girlfriend, cousin and her partner copped an earful of abhorrent profanities as I stormed off in a hot mess inside.
Lying on the floor, red-faced and furious, a revelation appeared into my conscience – “Who the hell do you think you are?!” – and immediately, I felt my anger subside as I slowly started to breathe again.
I had a moment to reflect as I begun to regain my rationalism amidst the shame and embarrassment of my behaviour. What did I expect? I knew that I hadn’t warmed up properly today. I knew that it had been a while since I had consistently lifted. I knew that I was not my fittest or strongest.
Theodore Roosevelt reckons “Comparison is the Thief of Joy”, and I would love to explore that.
From my understanding, Teddy is explaining that when we compare ourselves to others, we are bound to be disappointed.
However, what I have come to experience is that it is also our expectation of ourselves, that sometimes holds us back.
Expectation of where we should be.
Expectation of where others think we should be.
This stops us from just being where we are. On the day. And then adjusting accordingly.
Our ego is attached with our expectations, goals and aspirations. Just to be clear, I am not bashing ego – I think there’s enough of that in spiritual circles, but I think if we aren’t aware and constantly checking ourselves, we heap unrealistic expectations, that most of the time, we fall short of.
That definitely happened to me that day. And many times prior to that. And yes, it will definitely happen to me in the future.
The least we can do is to try and catch ourselves in that moment, or have a coach, or someone we trust, “checking us, before we wreck us” (surely, some scholar uttered that in a philosophy text book?).
In 12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson said in his fourth rule:
“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”
With this in mind, and some beautiful people around to check us, let’s do our best to enjoy the highs and lows of training, adjust accordingly on the day and then finally, once we’ve ticked those boxes, we can begin to earn expectation.
CHANGE IS THE POINT 