CHANGE IS THE POINT

Why do you coach? It’s an important question to ask.

On the one hand, coaching (within the fitness industry) is a demanding profession – early mornings and late evenings, dealing intimately with the personal challenges of people, and energy outputs that do not always match the monetary inputs. 

Yet there are also moments of authentic connection. Moments to witness and participate in the growth and development of another human being. There are moments of joy, laughter and inspiration.

If you pose this question to any coach, I would imagine that the majority of their answers would skew towards these moments. However, these answers may not be as straightforward as such. To ponder your “why” requires an intense degree of self-awareness, to the point that one is able to be self-critical. Because equally of importance as to why someone does something are the unconscious motives. We don’t answer this without first becoming aware of our shadow – those parts of us that hide in the dark where we are least willing to explore.

So when I pondered this question, digging deeper and deeper within my psyche, what I discovered unnerved me. I wanted to believe that my intentions, motives and my “why” was pure. But like all of us; I am insecure and in times, act from this place of lack and fear.

I realised that part of the reason I coach is to project my desire to fix myself onto others. This belief states that “I am not good enough” and therefore need to be improved, helped or coached. I need it, and so must the people in my classes. I derive validation from “fixing” others – it gives me a sense of service; making me feel as if I am not so alone in my inadequacy. And worse yet, those that don’t think they need to be coached are arrogant and ignorant.

The more I delved into this belief, the more I realised how this has manifested elsewhere in my life, with my relationship to my body, my physical practice or what I put (or don’t put) on the end of my fork. It has fuelled much of my interest in self-development. Such is the way of the unconscious as Jung postulated: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.” This has sent me down a chaotic rabbit hole, forcing me to process and interface with parts of my being that I did not want to confront. 

Thus began a process of dismantling. I spent hours of uncertainty and doubt. I saw now that my life was mirroring my insecurity right back at me, as I recognised others also driven by their insecurities; acting out, unaware and unconscious. 

Just when this reached a crisis point; the storm began to clear and finally I began to rebuild; gracelessly and awkwardly. This time however, there is a new “why” – one that is stronger and reinforced with the awareness of this knowledge. My desire to coach remains, although I understand that things have shifted (and will continue to do so). And so these questions must be revisited frequently. 

For this process is not exclusive to ones career choices – it applies to all aspects of our lives. Although we must be willing to take a peek under the hood; to question and confront the uncomfortable lessons in the places that we are least likely to look.

How else can you be sure you’re steering the ship? Now that, is an important question to ask.